Orchideous
by the saltiest train
Summary: John couldn't think of anywhere else he would rather be. Except maybe inside the castle, rather than in the pouring rain. It could be worse, at least his robes had an Impervius charm on them. He simply sat and marveled at the fact that he was lucky enough to meet everyone, that day in Diagon Alley. Potterstuck!
1. Letter

**A/N: Homestuck does not belong to me, it belongs to Sir Andrew Hussie, nor does Harry Potter belong to me either, and if I were to claim it or any of it's characters i would be in full violation of copyright law. Full authors note at the bottom**

John Egbert was but a simple boy, with bright blue eyes, and skin the color of milk tea, and flyaway black hair, glasses and a slight overbite. He grew up in a loving household, along with his father and his sister, Jane. He had no mother, his father always told him that she passed away when he was very young. Jade couldn't remember much of her either, even if she was a year or two older than John.

The fact that John had no mother did not bother him, his dad took well enough care of him. However, he suspected his father and sister's love of pastries was something that his mother influenced. John himself had a dislike of the stuff himself, and avoided it whenever possible. Jane constantly told him that he was crazy, but then would proceed to give him a good-natured hair ruffling.

Now, for this simple boy, today would be but a simple day, if it weren't for the excitement that he was experiencing, at the anticipation of his Hogwarts letter.

Dreadfully sorry, did I forget to mention that?

Jonathan Egbert came from a family of wizards. His father was a wizard, and as for his mother, he was not sure. However, he did know that both he and his sister Jane had inherited the ability of wizardry form their father. His sister, was now going into her third year at Hogwarts. He himself, was going to begin his first year. And he was ecstatic.

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"Jaaane! When is my letter gonna come?" John Egbert whined as he lay sprawled across the length of his couch.

John's sister was named Jane, and her skin was just the same color as John's, if not a bit lighter. He hair was black, and went just below her ears, and curled forward at the ends. She had large, round glasses that were always in pristine condition, over her bright cyan eyes.

Jane 'tsk'ed, and crossed her legs, from when she was sitting in the armchair across from the couch, reading 'Hogwarts, a History.' She looked up and her bright cyan eyes were shining with amusement.

"Be patient John, we don't even know if you'll get your letter." she said, as a mother would to he impatient child, as she turned another page. John sat up so quickly, he ended up sliding right off the couch and onto the floor, flailing his arms all the while.

"What do you mean? Of course 'm getting my letter!" he shouted in protest. Jade closed her book and set it to the side.

"Oh? Didn't you know?"

"Know what?!"

"That sometimes, the headmaster forgets to send letters."

John looked like he had been smacked. "Especially with students who have older siblings."

"Nuh-uh!" John protested.

"Yuh-huh." Jade said and grinned, and john crossed his arms and stuck his bottom lip out.

"Oh stop doing and and act your age. You ARE eleven now, John."

John's pout only worsened.

"Oh, you." Jane sighed. She then, stood up, and walked over to her brother. She crouched down next to him, and the proceeded to tickle him **mercilessly.**

John was laughing uncontrollably as his sister giggled and continued to tickle his sides, messing up his hair further as he squirmed like a slippery frog in a three-year-old's hands. Just as John was about to reach the point of yelling, the screech of an owl was heard from outside the window that was behind the armchair jade was previously sitting in. They both looked up quickly, and scrambled to their feet. Jane rushed to the window, and opened it, and let the Barred Owl inside.

"Look what Batter has John~" Jade sang as she took the two letters from the owl. She gave it a pat on the head, and then turned to John, holding up two letters, sealed with wax bearing the Hogwarts crest. John's eyes went even wider than they were, and lunged for the letters. Jade sidestepped him, and he slammed into the windowsill. Jade snickered, and John moaned in pain. She handed him one of the envelopes, the one addressed to him. His pain was almost instantaneously forgotten as he took he envelope and ripped into it. Jane took her time in opening hers.

John read over the letter with a look of joy and excitement, that slowly turned into confusion. "What's wrong John?" Jane asked, having just finished her letter, and noticing her brother's look of confusion.  
"It doesn't say what house I'm going to be in..." John said, turning over the letter, looking for where it would say he would be. Jade chuckled.

"Oh John, you don't figure that out until the sorting ceremony." she told him. He looked up at her.

"Sorting ceremony?" he asked, slightly terrified.

"Yes, It's when you get sorted into one of the houses in front of the **entire school**." she explained, a Cheshire cat grin forming on her face.

"W-what do we have to do?" John asked.

"Well, it involves fighting a troll..." Jade said. John nearly fainted.

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That evening, when Jane, John and their father were finishing supper, father informed John of the REAL process of the Sorting Ceremony, much to his son's relief. John turned to Jane.

"So, all of your friends are in different houses, right?" he asked. Jade thought for a moment, then answered.

"Well, the're all in different houses than I am, but Jake and Roxy are both in Gryffindor." she explained. "Dirk is in Slytherin."

John looked slightly alarmed.

"Doesn't that mean he's a dark wizard?" he said. Jade opened her mouth to correct him, but was cut off as her father chuckled instead.

"No, it simply means his cunning, resourceful and ambitious, according to definition. Nothing exactly evil about them." his father explained. "They simply have a bad reputation." John relaxed a bit.

"Hey dad?" he asked.

"Yes?"

"what house were you in?" John inquired, cocking his head to the side a bit. Dad smiled, and responded.

"I was in Ravenclaw." he said, then turned to Jane. "Jane, don't you and your friends have some sort of bet going on? On which houses your younger siblings will all be in?" he asked. Jane nodded.

"Dirk keeps saying his little brother will be a Hufflepuff, but Roxy and Jake think he'll be in Gryffindor. Personally, I think he's more of a Slytherin." Jane explained. "Most of us think Jade will be a Hufflepuff, but Jake keeps saying that she's more of a Gryffindor. We all agree that Rose is totally a Ravenclaw." Jane elaborated, using various hand gestures as she did so. "And, well, none of them have ever met John." she said, casting a somewhat apologetic look at him. He shrugged.

"I'm sure I'll meet them at school." he said.

"Yes," Dad said. "Or maybe Jane could make a plan to meet up with her friends when you go to get your books and supplies at Diagon Alley?" he suggested, looking at John then at Jane. Jane's face broke out into a huge grin.

"That sounds great! I'll go write a letter!" she exclaimed, then stood up and rushed from the table, her hair flouncing as she absconded, leaving her dinner behind.

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**A/N: Well chiddos, how was that. Not terrible, I hope. I do certainly hope I didn't make too many atrocious spelling errors. This is also my very first time writing Homestuck, and I'm actually very nervous about it. So, if you have any constructive criticism, or anything to say really, leave a review, please. I would like some input on how to improve my writing, and the characters I write. Also, if you have any questions about anything, let me know, please. I'd be more than happy to answer them for you. w**


	2. Diagon Alley

The day Jane had scheduled the Diagon Alley trip arrived, and John was bouncing with excitement as he got ready. He'd been to Diagon Alley before, but he was going to get his Hogwarts supplies, and that's what made this trip so exiting!

When he was ready, he ran downstairs, to find Jane and his father waiting. Jane looked very nice, with her short black hair shining and neatly tucked behind her ears, and her glasses sparkling as usual. She was wearing a robe that matched her eyes. She was making pancakes, (the muggle way, as she claimed it to be 'more fun') and his father was reading the Daily Prophet.

"Now children," their father began, "I'm going to give Jane the money you'll need, because I have to go to work." he explained.

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John stepped out into the streets of Diagon Alley, taking in the sight of people bustling along the stone streets, going in and out of shops and talking in the streets. John always loved visiting Diagon Alley, seeing all of the brightly dressed witches and wizards bustling about. The lovely scents that came from each shop, ranging from sweets to potion ingredients to old books to the smell of the animals. Jane soon stepped out after him, and looked through the crowd. She spotted something, and grabbed John's hand.

"Over there!" she said excitedly, as she dragged him over in front of one of the stores, where three people were standing talking.

One of the people had spiky blonde hair that was parted to the left, that stuck up slightly. He had pointy, triangular sunglasses, and pale skin that was dotted with the occasional freckle. He had an orange muggle hoodie, and muggle jeans on.

He was talking to a boy with skin just a shade or two darker that John's own, with messy dark brown hair, emerald eyes and spectacles. He had dark blue robes on. Like John, he had a slight overbite. Next to the blonde boy, a girl was sitting.

She had strawberry blond hair, and happy pink eyes. Her hair was parted somewhat to the right, and swirled off in a little spiral. Her hair reached just to her shoulders, where it turned up at the ends slightly. She had a long scarf in red and gold, with dark pink robes on. She was looking out in the crowd too. When she spotted Jane, her eyes seemed to light up with excitement.

"Look guys! It's Janey! It's Janey!" she exclaimed, hopping up and pointing to John's sister. Jane smiled and ran over to the three on the bench. The two boys looked up, and the one in blue broke into an enormous smile, and the one in orange's mouth quirked up at the edges. The girl bounced up to Jane, and enveloped her in a huge hug. "Jaaaaneeey! I missed you _soooo_ much!" the girl squealed, squeezing Jane tightly.

"R-Roxy, I-I-I cant bre-" Jane sputtered, turning light blue.

"Hey Rox, I don't think little Jane can breathe over here." the one in orange said. The girl, Roxy, had her face drop a bit.

"Oh!" she released Jane, and she began to gasp for breath. "I'm sorry Janey!" she said worriedly. "are you alright?"

Jane looked up, and smiled.

"I'm fine Roxy. I missed you too."

Then the person in dark blue stood and gave Jane a tight, but not suffocating, hug.

"Oh it IS wonderful to see you again Jane! How have you been! I've missed you something dreadful!" he said. He had the most ridiculous accent John had ever heard, and he had to restrain himself from laughing.

"It's great to see you too, Jake." Jane said, hugging him back._ Oh, _John thought. _So this is Jake English. _John knew that Jane had had a huge, but now expired, crush on Jake for two years. John's train of thought got de-railed when the orange one spoke.

"Hey there Crocker." he said. John was aware that Crocker was a nickname she had received from her friends for her love of baking. Apparently, it was Roxy who gave it to her, being a muggleborn witch, and apparently it was the name of a popular muggle cake baker. Jane turned to the orange one, after Jake had released her form the hug.

"What is it Strider? Don't I get a hug?" she asked, placing her hands on her hips and turning to him. John connected the dots, and realized that this was Dirk Strider. Dirk smirked as he stood up and walked over to Jane, and gave her a small hug. Jane gave him a much bigger hug in return.

John wondered how this bunch managed to get know each other. As Dirk released Jane, he noticed John.

"Hey Jane, is that your little brother?" he asked, looking at John. Or, at least John thought so. He couldn't really tell through Dirk's pointy anime shades. John gave him a smile, as Dirk seemed nice enough. Jane looked over her shoulder at John, as if just remembering that he was there.

"Oh, yeah! Guys, this is my brother, John!" she said, grabbing john's hand and dragging him forward. Dirk gave him a nod of the head, and a smirk. Roxy flounced over to him. John felt a bit nervous, as if if he were being judged. He glanced away, but then felt his cheek being grabbed. He turned his head, to see Roxy smiling widely, squealing, and pinching his cheeks rather hard. They were being pulled, and John didn't like it one bit, and struggled.

"OOOoooOOO! Janey, he's sooo Cute!" Roxy gushed. After some struggling, John managed to break free.

"Ow!" he said, patting his now red cheeks. He looked up when he heard footsteps approaching. Jake English was now in front of him, offering his hand out for shake. He could hear Roxy giggling.

"Good day, chap! It's smashing to finally get to meet you at last! Jane's told us so much about you! I'm Jake English!" John took his hands, and was surprised at how strong Jake English was. He was practically bouncing up and down with the force of the shake. Jake released his hand and smiled.

"I'm John," John said.

"Hello there John!" Jake said brightly. "Oh!" he exclaimed suddenly, causing John to jump. "You've got to meet Jade!" he looked around. "Oh where did that girl get to?" he asked, huffing impatiently.

"They went over to Olivanders, remember?" Dirk pointed out. A look of comprehension dawned on Jake's face.

"Oh! Well, we'll just go there then." he said decisively. He looked down at John. "You need a wand, too, do you not?" he asked. John nodded. He DID need a wand, and to be quite honest, he was looking forward to getting a wand the most. Jake grinned. "Well then, It's decided!" he announced. He turned away and began walking to Olivander's, Dirk turning on his heel to follow. Roxy quickly followed, dragging Jane by the hand. Jane turned around and smiled, and used her other hand to beckon John to come with. John followed, wishing that he could have friends like Jane had.

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They arrived at a small shop that John knew to be Olivander's due to the fact that it was clearly marked as so in two places on the stores exterior, and that he had passed it many times in his childhood. He was giddy with excitement. He was finally going to get his own wand! Was his going to be white like Jane's? Or brown like his fathers?

John went in before Jane or any of her friends, and the bell on the door jingled. He was in temporary awe of how many wands there were, cramped into shelves. It was an extremely dusty shop, with shelves upon shelves of wands.. He then noticed the three kids standing in the shop, as well as an older gentleman. He could only see the children's backs, but two turned around as the bell rang. Once they turned around, John could make the connection between them and Jane's friends.

One of the girls had strawberry blonde hair, like Roxy's, that was just a bit longer than Jane's. it was straighter than his sister's too, and was pulled back with a headband. Her eyes were the color of an 'orchid' crayon you might find in a child's pencil box. Her skin a light tan. She had black lipstick on, and it matched her black robes.

Next to her, there was another girl, one with long brown hair, that looked thick and slightly tousled. She had big round glasses, like Jane, and big, bottle-green eyes. Her front teeth were resting on her bottom lip slightly, and her skin was nearly identical to John's. She had emerald green robes on.

The other one didn't even acknowledge the bell. He had on muggle clothes: a shirt with three-quarter sleeves that were red, like the collar, with the rest of the shirt being white. He had on black skinny jeans. His hair was an extremely light blonde, and in the right light, John could have mistaken it for white. His skin was pale, and John could see freckles on the skin where the shirt didn't cover.

He was taking something from the older man, who hadn't noticed the bell either. The boy picked it up, and John could now see it was a wand. It was long, smooth and made with black wood, Ebony, John supposed. From what John could see of the handle, it looked like it was in a thick 'S' like shape, with small, featherlike protrusions along the top and bottom curves of the 'S'. It was very pretty, and John again began to wonder what his wand would look like.

"Hmmm… fifteen inches, ebony, and with a phoenix feather core." The man looked up, and motioned with his hands. The boy flicked the wand, and bright red sparks sprung from the tip. The old man nodded. "Ah yes, that's the one," he mused, taking the wand from the boy.

The boy paid the old man for the wand, and then turned around. John could now see that the boy had freckles on his face as well, and his eyes were covered by large sunglasses. He looked at John (or at least turned towards him; he couldn't really tell through his sunglasses). John felt a little uneasy, but offered a small smile. The boy nodded at him.

The bell rang again, and Dirk walked in. The boy looked up at him, and offered a small smile. Dirk smiled, in return.

"Well, do you have it then?" he asked. The boy held up his wand, and walked over to Dirk. He then handed the wand to him, and he looked at it. _Oh, _John thought, _The boy is probably Dirk's brother. _"What's the core?" Dirk asked.

"Phoenix feather." the boy said.

"That wand's really cool, Dave!" Jade said, eyeing it along with Dirk, Jake and Roxy. Dirk then handed it back to the boy, Dave, who put it in his front pocket.

The two girls that were in the shop when John came in walked over to where everyone was standing. Jane seemed to remember something as they approached.

"Oh! John, these girls are Jade and Rose, Jake and Roxy's little sisters." she explained. "And the boy is Dave, Dirk's brother." John wondered why he didn't make the connection before. The blonde girl, Rose, extended her hand for a shake.

"Nice to meet you, John. Jane has told us loads about you." she said, smiling. John decided that he liked Rose, and smiled back. .

"Nice to meet you too!" he said, as Rose released his hand. The other girl, Jade, then offered her hand for a shake. John took it, expecting a small shake, similar to Rose's, but he soon found out that that would not be the case, as his hand was enclosed in an iron grip, and shook vigorously.

"Hi John! It's super duper cool to finally meet you!" she said excitedly, a huge smile on her face. John then decided that he liked Jade as well, and gave her a smile back.

'Yeah, you too!" he said. Jade stopped shaking his hand abruptly, and turned to Dave, who lingering close to his brother. She huffed, and grabbed his hand, and dragged him over to John.

"This is Dave, and he's being an antisocial loser." Jade said, pointed at Dave. Dave scoffed.

"I am not." he said to Jade, then looked at John.

"What's up?" he asked.

John didn't exactly know how to respond to that question.

"Erm.." John tried. "Hello?" he tried. Dave smirked. _Is that good or bad? _John wondered. He then realized he didn't have much time to dwell on that, as Dave laughed

"That was totally smooth." he said. John felt like he was being made fun of, huffed and frowned. Dave noticed this. "Oh hey, sorry man," he said quickly and apologetically, placing a hand on his shoulder."You seem pretty...Cool." he added, taking his hand off John's shoulder and smiling slightly. John gave him a smile in return. John then decided that he liked Dave.

The old man cleared his throat.

"Pardon me," he said, "but do any of you need wands?" he said, and he looked slightly irked at the fact that a group of kids and teenagers were standing chatting in his small store. Everyone muttered apologies as they left, but Jade, Rose and Dave stayed behind. The old man beckoned John towards him. He took a silver measuring tape out of his pocket, that promptly unfurled itself. "Now," he said looking at John. John felt slightly uneasy under his gaze. "Which arm is your wand arm?" he asked, and John held put his left arm. The measuring tape began measuring.

"Your left arm?" John heard Dave comment. He turned around and offered the group a little smile. Jade and Rose giggled, and Dave smirked.

He turned back around when he heard the man shuffling around. He was looking in the

shelves. He pulled out a box and pulled off the lid.

"Try this one." he said, pulling out a rather short wand. "Nine inches, mahogany, phoenix feather." John took it, and it was immediately taken back. He could hear the three snickering. The man was looking in the shelves once again. He pulled out another box. "twelve inches, Rowan, Dragon Heartstring." He picked up the wand, and handed it to John. He wave John a vague hand gesture, and John guessed that meant he was supposed to wave it. And wave it he did. A shower of blue sparks fell out of the tip. The old man nodded. "That's the one." he said. John looked down at the wand in hand. It was a rich brown color, and had a protrusion that wrapped around the wand, with small spirals coming off of the body of the protrusion, to lay on the wand. The handle had a cloud shaped top and bottom, and in between curved inwards.

John dug around in his robe pocket and pulled out the necessary sum of money that was required to purchase the wand, and paid the man. He then turned away from the man, and walked out of the shop, followed by Jade, Dave and Rose.

Jane, Roxy, Dirk and Jake were nowhere to be seen.

"Yours has Dragon Heartstring too?" Jade asked excitedly. John nodded.

"Yeah. Is yours?" he asked.

"Yep! So is Jake's." she said, she pulled out her wand from inside of her robe. "But mine's made out of Oak." she handed it to John. It was about an inch shorter than his own, and deep brown. It was slightly curved, and the handle was rectangular, and had 'x' shapes engraved on each of the four sides. John thought it suited her well.

"That's so cool!" John said. Jade nodded enthusiastically.

"I know! But you should see Rose's." Jade said, looking at Rose. Rose laughed.

"It's not that impressive, Jade." she said.

"Oh come on Rose," Dave said, nudging her with his elbow. "You have he coolest one out of all of us." He insisted.

'Oh, alright," she said, relenting and pulling her wand out of her robe. She handed it to John. "It's fourteen inches, has a Unicorn tail hair core, and is made of Silver Lime wood." she said.

John looked at the wand, and wow, they weren't kidding when they said that it was pretty. The handle curved outwards, and has a pattern of ivy twisting around it. The bottom of the handle goes inwards to a point, from which an oblong, spherical end with a diamond-shape potrusion coming out of it. The top of the handle ends in a similar way. From the top of the handle, the wand curls around, like the horn of unicorns in picture books, into a fine point.

"Gosh Rose, that's really pretty!" John said, having no other words to describe it.

"Thank you." rose said, and took the wand. She then looked at Dave.

"Dave, we haven't gotten very good look at your wand, have we?" she said, eyeing it from where it poked out of Dave's pocket. John wondered why he wasn't wearing robes like everyone else.

"Oh, right." he said, pulling it pout of his pocket. He handed it to Rose, who took it carefully. Joh got a better look at it this time.

The wood was black, and the handle didn't look too different from when he saw itfrom afar. However, he could see a different roman numeral on each of the feather like designs. He also noticed that the sides of the wand had numerals running up and down them.

"That's awesome Dave!" Jade said.

"I agree, it suits you." Rose acknowledged, giving it back to Dave.

"It's IS awesome." John commented last. Dave looked a bit sheepish, as he smiled and said thanks to everyone.

John looked around.

"Hey, where did everybody go?" he asked, glancing about. Everyone else now seemed to notice their absence as well, and began scanning the crowds for them.

"They're over there!" Jade said, pointing over in front of Flourish and Blotts.

They walked over, and the conversation that the older siblings were having stopped.

"Hey John, did you get your wand?" Jane asked. John nodded, and handed her his wand. "This is really neat, John! What's it made out of?" Jane asked, eyeing it closer.

"Rowan. And it has a Dragon Heartstring core." he said, somewhat proudly.

"Why, mine does too!" Jake interjected, taking out his wand. "Ah, however it's made of Sycamore."

"Oh! Mine's got a unicorn hair in it!" Roxy said, whipping her wand out and brandishing it, "And it's made of leech! No... It's Larch? Yeah, Larch!" The group chuckled.

"Well, as long as it's show-and-tell," Dirk added, pulling his out. "It's Yew, and has a phoenix feather." He put it back in his jacket pocket. Jane giggled, and slid her wand out of her pocket.

"Well, mine's Beech, and has a unicorn hair in it."

This John knew, as he had to listen to her talk about it nonstop when she first got it. He rolled his eyes.

"Hey Jane," he said, getting her attention. "Don't we still have to get our things?" he asked.

"Oh, that's right!" she said, slapping the side of her head. She turned towards the group. "Hey guys, we still have to get our supplies!" she said. There was a rise f complaint from the group, but Jane shushed them and said goodbye. John said his goodbyes too, and he and Jane went to go get their things.

**A/N: MERRY FUCKING GODDAMN HALLOWEEN. This was ENTIRLEY TOO LONG and took ENTIRELY TOO LONG to write. It's a good thing I'm putting the first and second chapters up at the same goddamn time. asdlhihbrnbvas,kdjgfkhebfkdjahfjhdbv**

**Anyway, I sincerely hope I this didn't bore anyone, what with the MUCH TO MANY descriptions of things. And I also love wandlore and wands, so the descriptions of those took a while. O~o UUGH so the wand woods mean stuff, and if your curious search them AND I TOOK THE TIME TO RESEARCH THE AND AUUGH ALSO IM SORRY IF THIER TOO OOC IM SORRY PLEASE tell me what i can do to improve I MUST KNOW AUAGHEFBGL RWEUGF**

**okay bye**


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